Last week my focus was on supporting our Almond students in making the best choices possible and how we address times when students are challenged with this.

This week, we will focus on solving problems that often result from a choice that could have been better.

While walking about during recess and lunch, students may approach me to share a challenge with which they are struggling.  For example, “My friend won’t let me play with them.”  Or, “We never get a chance to play on the wall ball and are frustrated.” Or, “This student said a bad word.”  My first response always is, “How have you tried to solve the problem?”  Nine out of ten times, the student replies that he/she hasn’t.  I then ask them how they might address the concern.  We talk through options and I let them know that if additional support is needed to let me know.

By guiding students in taking the first step in solving their own problems, we empower them as individuals and cultivate strength in them to effectively mitigate challenges.  This is of course unless the issue is severe and involves safety.

One of the most powerful tools we have as human beings is our ability to communicate.  This Friday, I’ll be speaking with our students about “I Statements.”  For example, a student might say, “I felt irritated when you grabbed the ball out of my hands because I wasn’t done with it.  Please ask me first next time.”  A feeling is expressed, the action called out and a request made for the future.  While it may seem contrived at first, with practice it becomes routine and solidifies positive communication patterns for years to come.

Typically the end result is in the child who made the mistake saying, “I’m sorry for taking for your ball without asking.”  When I support these conversations, if an apology is warranted, I expect the apology to be specific and with detail so that the original concern is clear.  And finally, what response does the person who raised the issue provide?  Typically it is, “that’s okay.”  However, clearly, it wasn’t okay otherwise the conflict would not have occurred in the first place.  Therefore, a more appropriate response that I share with students is, “Thank you for your apology.”

Conflict is a reality that we all must master in addressing and here at Almond School we are committed to supporting our students in effectively managing challenges!